One question that I receive over and over again from young seekers on this path
is how to tell their parents that they have chosen to become Wiccans. Most often
they are afraid that their parents will not understand, will forbid them to practice
their faith, or will punish them for their beliefs. Some might tell these new Wiccans
to simply lie to their parents, or just not let them know what they are doing. I
think this is wrong. At the heart of our magic and our spiritual beliefs is that
teaching that we must be honest in all that we do. A Witch's word must never be given
lightly, for to do so takes you further from the Divine, and lessens your magic.
Here then are my suggestions on how to handle this delicate situation honestly, fairly,
and with the understanding that sometimes the loving answer is not what we want to
of all, make sure that you are familiar with what Wiccans believe and what they practice.
After all, if you don't really know what Wicca is all about, you are going to have
a very hard time explaining it to someone else. And don't just base your knowledge
on what you see on television or in the movies. Read and study about the Craft until
you are very sure that you know what you are talking about.
Think about and
clarify in your mind why your former spiritual path did not work for you, and why
you think Wicca will.
Maybe you could find some good material that will answer
the most common questions about Wicca, something you could hand to a non-Wiccan that
will help them to see that this is a real spiritual pathway and not just some strange
cult. There is a great handout on the web at http://www.cog.org that explains a lot
of what we do in pretty simple terms.
Once you have yourself well prepared
with your knowledge of Wicca, then you will be ready to discuss it with your parents.
Choose a good time for all of you. You might even give them some time to find a space
of time when they would be willing to sit down and hold a serious discussion with
you. Don't pick a time when you or they are in a rush or stressed out. And for goodness
sake don't just spring it on them with "Boo, I'm a Witch.". Remember, we
want them to take you as an adult and listen to what you are saying. Ask them to
let you talk first without interruption, then ask questions later. Make your case
to them as best you can.
If they say yes..well good on you.
say no, don't get emotional, cry, or throw tantrums. That won't get you anywhere
and will just reinforce their idea that you are a child to be protected. Remember
that Wicca is very misunderstood, and their saying no is probably done out of love
and concern that you are getting into something that might harm you.
in the USA, parents have the legal right to determine the spiritual upbringing of
their children until you are legally an adult. No ethical Witch would interfere with
the rights of your parents, just as they would not want someone interfering with
their children. Accept their decision and wait until you are of age and see if you
are still interested then. In the meantime you could study things which aren't directly
Wicca but which most Witches study over their lifetime, topics that will help you
no matter what course in life you eventually take. Read history and mythology, learn
about plants and herbs, grow a garden, get to know what birds live in your area.
There are so many, many things that you can do while you are waiting.
Main Index / Lark's Nest
October 10, 2000